July 27, 2010: Squeeze / The Beat / The Skooners @ The Crown Theater
Waiting for this show was like waiting for a long distance courtship to come to fruition. I first saw the ad for the show while scanning through the City Life while on the way to CA. to play a gig. I immediately took a picture of the ad with my cell phone and sent it to a few friends, telling them how HYPED I was to see that one of my all-time favorite bands was coming to Las Vegas. I could give 2 shits about the Beat (known by the ignaroids as 'The English Beat') because they have always, always, sucked, but Squeeze? Holy Turtle Shit! I am beyond OBSESSED with them, and I've been a long time fan of their sugary sweet pop songs, full of more hooks than the Cenobites room in the Hellraiser movies, and just as deadly when they get under your skin. I was sooooooo happy to see this show. I was long over due. The day of the show could not arrive quick enough and when it did, I was like a kid on Christmas morning. I was getting exactly what I wanted this year. I must of been a good boy. ;-)
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So I get to the Rio extra early to find this place called the Crown Theater, and once I find it I also find that it's kitty corner from a McFadden's Irish Pub located in the middle of all the neon glitz. I am now definitely in Trouble. I head inside the pub and start double fisting Irish Car bombs and Jameson's on the rocks like my life depends on me imbibing as much booze as humanly possible in the shortest amount of time allowed. I thought about grubbing but didn't wanna ruin the warm, brewed and distilled party going on in my belly, so I skipped eating. After about an hour of liver I damage, I feel brave enough to venture inside the place and give it a look over. Great room, clean lay out, good lines, and bars every 20 feet or so. I like it. Well, at least I did until I ordered my first drink. I think I gagged a little when she told me the price of the watered down Jack & Coke she handed me - Yikes!! This place has no bathrooms inside the actual venue, so they allow a generous in and out policy, since the nearest set of bathrooms is located a few doors down from McFadden's. If one were so inclined, it would be most easy to sneak booze into the place, since Security doesn't search anyone coming in. Of course, I would never do such a thing, but for some of you more frugal minded people out there, you might wanna remember that important little fact if you should happen to go see a show @ the Crown Theater. Just saying. ;-)
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I was standing around the bar area, waiting for something, anything, to happen, and finally the opening band the Skooners come out to play, making jokes about American Idol and playing some of the weakest ass Emo-Pop music I've ever heard. The singer was just a nasally whiner and the band just had nothing to offer. Minimalistic non-descriptive droning They gave me the same sensation you get when you drink warm tap water, or maybe when you eat some bad Indian food. Close to, but not quite sick enough to, make you puke and wretch. The Cougars and MILF's queued up front were digging them. I guess somebody has t0. After what seemed an eternity, the Skooners got off stage to a smattering of applause. Mediocrity pays apparently.
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After the Skooners got through gheying up the place, it took forever for the Beat to get their old asses up on the stage. These 80's pop monsters had a shitload of people queuing up front to check out the band, with 90% of them being of the female persuasion. The band nowadays consists of Dave Wakeling and whoever he can convince to play gigs with him, and despite looking a bit wrinkled and paunchy, he still gave the people what they want by running through a set list comprised of every hit song they had, like I Confess, Mirror In The Bathroom, Save It For Later and basically squeezed them all in between a mish-mash of eccentric covers, ranging from tunes from the Staples Sisters, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles and Andy Williams, if you can believe that. I never saw the appeal in the Beat myself, but that must be because I have a pair of testicles but man, the ladies sure do see it! All the drunken, loud Cougars and MILF's I was surrounded by almost deterred me from staying up front, with their constant spilling of booze on me and burning me with their cigarettes while drunkenly dancing around to the music the Beat was playing, but Thankfully their set ended just in time for me to stay. The Beat played a well received set, and had the crowd dancing around from Note 1. Me, I was just killing time waiting for Squeeze. When the majority of people left, I jumped right up front in prime picture taking position. The time had come. I think I was ready.
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Squeeze could not get on stage quickly enough for me. Impatient I was, like a kid on Christmas. I stood there amongst the others of my ilk just watching the wings, waiting for a sign, waiting for someone to walk out, waiting for the gawd damn show to begin! And then it did. Everyone but Mr. Tilbrook and Mr. Difford walked out to hoots and hollers, and when these 2 distinguished gentleman finally did ascend to the stage, the crowd let out a huge roar of approval. Apparently, I wasn't the only one feeling it! :-) They pick up their guitars, plug in, and then the drummer starts up that military cadence rolling snare intro to Take Me I'm Yours and that was it - I was GONE! They sounded sooooooooooo fucking good, sooooooo fucking amazing, that I stood there in shock and awe, flashing back to all the times I had seen the band before, some better than others, but never, never disappointing. They were bringing their A-Game to the Crown Theater, the band sounded glorious, and me and everyone else in the place was eating it up. Glen Tilbrook sounded just as good as I have ever heard him sound, sugar sweet and melodious, with that distinctive voice that makes all the happy parts of me wanna get up and dance! Watching him play so up close and personal like I was just reminded me of what a great guitar player he is, something that's hugely overlooked. He's a very underrated guitarist, and although Chris Difford gets a lot of the credit for the musical arrangements of most Squeeze songs, Glen's guitar playing adds huge colorful swatches to many songs in the Squeeze repertoire. I was watching the drummer closely, and he was playing every song perfectly. He made all the difference in making the songs sound just OK to fucking epic. I envy him. It has to be pretty sweet to be playing all those beautiful Squeeze songs every night. ::sigh:: And what a set of songs they were running through! Damn! Pretty much a 'Greatest Hits' set, but again, what a set! Annie Get Your Gun, Tempted, Black Coffee In Bed, Goodbye Girl, Is That Love, Cool For Cats, Slap and Tickle, Pulling Mussels (From The Shell), Another Nail In My Heart, and a few more that I'm obviously forgetting. During the chorus of Hourglass, everybody's timing got a wee bit off, which is understandable if you know the song, and the looks they all shot to each other showed that the band was in a good place, and wasn't about to let a bit of bad singing kill the mood of the evening, which I've seen happen in the past. Tonight though it wasn't happening. These 2 have been at odds before, but Difford & Tilbrook were magical tonight, playful, above it all and definitely in the zone. You could tell they were playing the songs for the love of playing them, and not for the cash. They were playing the obvious selections, but the not so obvious ones were definitely tasty! It's So Dirty from Cool For Cats? Fuck yeah! I Think I'm Go Go from Argy Bargy, arguably one of the greatest albums ever released? Oh you know I was loving that! The evening was full of surprises, like during When The Hangover Strikes, one of the mellowest and quietest songs Squeeze has ever recorded, some drunk guy starts talking shit to me and challenges me to a fight. Yeah, me. Why? I don't know. Of all the people there, it had to be me, right? Right. For fear of getting thrown out and missing out on Squeeze, I told him to fuck off and wait until the band was done, and I would deal with him accordingly, and, of course, as soon as the band was finished, I turned around to pummel this drunken lout into oblivion but, of course, he was gone. Yeah, there was nothing that was going to ruin my night and the astounding memory of the glorious performance of what I had just witnessed, no fucking way. Squeeze just fucking slayed me, and I died willingly. The amazing feeling of Happiness and Joy that I got from watching them stayed with me for days afterwords.
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